1 00:00:02,102 --> 00:00:03,837 - ? MTV ? 2 00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:08,776 [both chuckling] 3 00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:11,746 [rock music] 4 00:00:11,812 --> 00:00:18,885 ? ? 5 00:00:24,158 --> 00:00:25,298 [school bell ringing] 6 00:00:25,299 --> 00:00:26,992 - Another way to deter attackers 7 00:00:26,993 --> 00:00:30,964 is by using personal defense devices such as pepper spray. 8 00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:32,867 I happen to have some. 9 00:00:32,967 --> 00:00:34,968 Hmm. I swore it was in here. 10 00:00:35,068 --> 00:00:36,637 [both chuckling] 11 00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:38,805 It couldn't have just walked away. 12 00:00:38,838 --> 00:00:40,808 [both chuckling] 13 00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:42,043 - Hey, Butt-Head. 14 00:00:42,044 --> 00:00:43,509 What's that stuff we took from the Army guy? 15 00:00:43,510 --> 00:00:45,445 - Uh, let's see. 16 00:00:45,512 --> 00:00:46,646 Uh... 17 00:00:46,747 --> 00:00:47,797 Ma- 18 00:00:47,815 --> 00:00:49,983 mass- 19 00:00:50,083 --> 00:00:51,919 mass-ay? 20 00:00:51,986 --> 00:00:54,254 Mac�. [chuckles] 21 00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:56,323 It must be from France or something. 22 00:00:56,423 --> 00:00:58,525 - Yeah, cool. [both chuckling] 23 00:00:58,526 --> 00:01:00,493 [French accent] Monsieur! [chuckles] 24 00:01:00,494 --> 00:01:02,696 Mon soir. [chuckles] 25 00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:04,364 - Uh, hmm. 26 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:05,732 [chuckles] 27 00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:08,869 So it's like a little spray bottle from France. 28 00:01:08,936 --> 00:01:10,170 [chuckles] 29 00:01:10,203 --> 00:01:12,706 And that cool Army guy had it. 30 00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:14,408 - And he looked like he scores. 31 00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:16,143 [chuckles] 32 00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:19,647 - Whoa, Beavis, this must be cologne. 33 00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:21,482 - Yeah, yeah. 34 00:01:21,549 --> 00:01:23,984 Um, what's cologne? 35 00:01:24,051 --> 00:01:26,881 - You spray it all over you and then when chicks smell it, 36 00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:30,023 they want to, like, uh, get busy. 37 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,525 - Cool! I wanna try it. Yeah. 38 00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:33,260 Maybe I'll score, yeah. 39 00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:34,661 [chuckles] 40 00:01:35,148 --> 00:01:37,229 Whoa. [chuckles] 41 00:01:37,230 --> 00:01:38,965 No, that's not it. 42 00:01:39,032 --> 00:01:41,168 I can't find the spray hole. 43 00:01:41,235 --> 00:01:43,304 Let's see. 44 00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:45,172 Oh, yeah, yeah. [chuckles] 45 00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:46,473 - Wait, Beavis, stop. 46 00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:47,808 - What is it? What? 47 00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:49,710 - [chuckling] You said hole. 48 00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:52,379 [both chuckling] 49 00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:54,781 - Oh, yeah. 50 00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:56,516 I guess I did. [chuckles] 51 00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:57,750 Yeah, thanks, Butt-Head. 52 00:01:57,751 --> 00:01:59,386 That was close. 53 00:01:59,486 --> 00:02:01,488 Now, where was I? 54 00:02:01,588 --> 00:02:03,123 [screams] 55 00:02:03,190 --> 00:02:04,557 [groaning and screaming] 56 00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:06,227 - Damn it, Beavis. 57 00:02:06,228 --> 00:02:07,293 Stop hogging it. 58 00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:08,394 - Oh, my God. - Butthole. 59 00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:10,330 Give me that. [Beavis groaning] 60 00:02:11,032 --> 00:02:12,833 [Butt-Head screams] 61 00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:14,435 [groaning] 62 00:02:14,436 --> 00:02:15,502 - Oh, Butt-Head. 63 00:02:15,503 --> 00:02:17,037 [coughs and groans] 64 00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:19,039 Is cologne supposed to hurt? 65 00:02:19,106 --> 00:02:20,440 [Butt-Head coughs] 66 00:02:20,540 --> 00:02:22,175 Yeah, dumbass. 67 00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:24,745 That's how you know it's working. 68 00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,047 - Yeah, but my face feels all hot and stuff. 69 00:02:27,114 --> 00:02:28,949 And-and it hurts to see things. 70 00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:30,383 [groans] 71 00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:32,980 - Well, nobody said scoring was going to feel good. 72 00:02:32,981 --> 00:02:34,020 [chuckles] 73 00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:35,255 - Oh, yeah, that's true. 74 00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:38,291 I'm gonna score no matter how much it sucks. 75 00:02:38,292 --> 00:02:39,392 Ow! 76 00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:40,627 [tense music] 77 00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:41,828 - What was that? 78 00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:44,731 - I don't know. - That was a scream. 79 00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:47,400 What happened? What happened? 80 00:02:47,467 --> 00:02:51,238 - See, all of you were talking to a devil. 81 00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:54,141 - We are going to be spending the entire night 82 00:02:54,241 --> 00:02:56,276 inside this haunted location. 83 00:02:56,277 --> 00:02:58,811 - [nasal voice] We are going to be spending the entire night 84 00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:00,948 in this haunted location. 85 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:03,617 [both chuckling] 86 00:03:03,618 --> 00:03:05,718 - All right, so this was John Stutt's house. 87 00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:07,286 - I guess no one told them there's 88 00:03:07,287 --> 00:03:09,656 no such thing as ghosts. 89 00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:11,058 - I don't know, Butt-Head. 90 00:03:11,059 --> 00:03:13,159 I saw a ghost once in the middle of the night 91 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:15,830 when I was a kid, and he told me 92 00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:18,932 that I didn't see him and not to tell anyone. 93 00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:22,870 And then when I woke up, all my mom's pills were gone. 94 00:03:22,937 --> 00:03:24,504 [chuckles] 95 00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:26,674 They didn't just disappear on their own. 96 00:03:26,774 --> 00:03:28,542 - Uh, OK, Beavis. 97 00:03:28,543 --> 00:03:30,209 - What we do know is that John himself 98 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,645 died in here in a chair. 99 00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,342 We don't have the chair anymore. 100 00:03:33,343 --> 00:03:34,580 So he died in the living room here. 101 00:03:34,581 --> 00:03:35,883 - In the living room. 102 00:03:35,884 --> 00:03:37,183 - [nasal voice] So he died in the living room. 103 00:03:37,184 --> 00:03:39,686 Was he spanking any type of an animal? 104 00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:42,656 Say, a monkey, perhaps? [both chuckling] 105 00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:44,225 [indistinct chatter] 106 00:03:44,226 --> 00:03:45,991 - This place is haunted with all the girls 107 00:03:45,992 --> 00:03:47,862 he'll never score with. 108 00:03:47,962 --> 00:03:51,598 [both chuckling] 109 00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:54,068 - She's like, if you look in that mirror 110 00:03:54,168 --> 00:03:56,770 and say "I've never scored" three times, 111 00:03:56,837 --> 00:03:58,639 no chicks will appear. 112 00:03:58,705 --> 00:04:02,075 [both chuckling] 113 00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:04,825 - We're gonna leave the camera rolling here, though. 114 00:04:04,844 --> 00:04:07,281 Probably the camera I'm holding. 115 00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:10,350 And we're gonna leave the [indistinct] in here. 116 00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:13,220 - He's like, um, if there are any hot chicks in here, 117 00:04:13,286 --> 00:04:15,856 please make yourself known at this time, OK? 118 00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:17,458 [chuckles] 119 00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:18,998 I left a kickball here for you 120 00:04:18,999 --> 00:04:21,127 in case you and your friends want to have some fun. 121 00:04:21,128 --> 00:04:22,178 [chuckles] 122 00:04:22,196 --> 00:04:24,532 - It's my favorite sport. [chuckles] 123 00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:26,500 - The fridge is first base. 124 00:04:26,566 --> 00:04:29,169 [chuckles] You know- 125 00:04:29,170 --> 00:04:31,037 you know, I've never made it to first base. 126 00:04:31,038 --> 00:04:33,140 With a chick or in kickball. 127 00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:34,441 Interesting fact, yeah. 128 00:04:34,541 --> 00:04:35,609 [chuckles] 129 00:04:35,610 --> 00:04:36,909 - I can catch the kickball pretty good 130 00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:39,146 if you kick it right to me. 131 00:04:39,213 --> 00:04:42,049 [both chuckling] 132 00:04:42,083 --> 00:04:44,351 - Curtis! - Whoa. 133 00:04:44,352 --> 00:04:45,819 Yeah, I think it did say my name right there. 134 00:04:45,820 --> 00:04:48,289 - He's like, you're wrong, Curtis. 135 00:04:48,355 --> 00:04:50,490 No woman will ever say your name. 136 00:04:50,557 --> 00:04:52,626 [both chuckling] 137 00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:56,530 - And you're here somewhere for us? 138 00:04:56,597 --> 00:04:58,732 - The ghost is like, tonight, 139 00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,768 you will be visited by three ghosts. 140 00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:03,337 the ghost of you're never gonna score past, 141 00:05:03,437 --> 00:05:05,906 the ghost of you're never gonna score present, 142 00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:08,709 and the ghost of you're never gonna score yet to come. 143 00:05:08,776 --> 00:05:10,478 [both chuckling] 144 00:05:10,479 --> 00:05:12,811 Only then will you understand the true meaning 145 00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:14,915 of you're never gonna score. 146 00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:16,617 [chuckles] 147 00:05:16,618 --> 00:05:18,585 - What was that? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 148 00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:21,588 There is, like, a figure. It's jumping on you. 149 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:22,957 - Whoa. - Really? 150 00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:25,625 - The ghost is spanking his monkey. [chuckles] 151 00:05:25,692 --> 00:05:28,495 - Eh, I think he's just, like, pointing to his schlong. 152 00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:30,397 He's like, heh, yeah, here it is. 153 00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:32,099 See that? [chuckles] 154 00:05:32,100 --> 00:05:33,732 Yeah, I got your spirit swinging. 155 00:05:33,733 --> 00:05:34,969 Come on. [chuckles] 156 00:05:35,069 --> 00:05:36,403 Come on, you dorks. 157 00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:39,139 You don't have to have bones to have a boner. 158 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,441 Hey, look at that, huh? 159 00:05:40,508 --> 00:05:42,576 - There's two of 'em? [both chuckling] 160 00:05:42,643 --> 00:05:44,144 What are they doing? 161 00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:48,582 - The time to sleep alone is every time for this dude. 162 00:05:48,649 --> 00:05:52,152 [both chuckling] 163 00:05:52,819 --> 00:05:56,957 Uh, unexplained bang? [chuckles] 164 00:05:56,958 --> 00:05:58,825 - I tell you, if this guy bangs anything, 165 00:05:58,826 --> 00:06:00,426 it's definitely gonna be unexplained. 166 00:06:00,427 --> 00:06:03,263 You know what I'm saying? He's a dork, this guy. 167 00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,233 - This is it, Beavis. 168 00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:08,568 We're finally going to score, 169 00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:12,272 all thanks to our secret weapon of massay. 170 00:06:12,273 --> 00:06:14,907 - You know, a lot of guys complain about not scoring. 171 00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:17,009 Well, we're going to do something about it. 172 00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:19,880 You know, um, my face is starting to feel a little bit 173 00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:23,416 better now-[screams] 174 00:06:23,483 --> 00:06:25,218 [Butt-Head groans] 175 00:06:25,318 --> 00:06:26,554 - Uh-[coughs] 176 00:06:26,555 --> 00:06:27,686 Now we are ready. 177 00:06:27,687 --> 00:06:29,055 [coughs] Ugh. 178 00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:34,127 - [grunts] 179 00:06:34,128 --> 00:06:35,194 - Ow. 180 00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:36,463 - Eh, ow. 181 00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:37,664 - Ugh. 182 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:41,001 - [groaning] Butt-Head, is it working? 183 00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:42,369 I can't see anything. 184 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:43,737 - Uh, yeah. 185 00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:47,375 [chuckles] The chicks are already all over me. 186 00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:49,710 Hey, baby. [chuckles] 187 00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:51,078 First time at the mall? 188 00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:52,379 [chuckles] 189 00:06:52,446 --> 00:06:54,214 Yeah, that's cool, that's cool. 190 00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:56,383 [chuckles] 191 00:06:56,483 --> 00:06:57,533 - Ah! 192 00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:01,021 [groans] Ow. 193 00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:02,622 Ow. [chuckles] 194 00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:03,858 - Damn it. 195 00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:06,260 That chick was all stuck-up or something. 196 00:07:06,327 --> 00:07:07,527 [chuckles] 197 00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:09,028 - Yeah, I haven't scored yet either. 198 00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:10,079 This sucks. 199 00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:11,365 [chuckles] 200 00:07:11,366 --> 00:07:12,832 - I think you're not wearing enough cologne, 201 00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:15,169 and it's, like, messing up my game. 202 00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:16,504 [chuckles] 203 00:07:16,505 --> 00:07:18,737 - You know, Butt-Head, actually, I'm not sure 204 00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:22,876 I want any more of that- [screams] 205 00:07:22,877 --> 00:07:26,613 - Whoa, check it out. [Beavis continues screaming] 206 00:07:26,614 --> 00:07:29,349 There's a new nachos place at the food court. 207 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:32,719 [chuckles] We should go eat there after we score. 208 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,387 - Ow! 209 00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,758 - Get up, dumbass. 210 00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:40,861 How are you supposed to get chicks lying on the floor? 211 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,096 [chuckles] 212 00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:44,498 - Sorry, sorry. [chuckles] 213 00:07:44,499 --> 00:07:45,598 Hello, ladies. 214 00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:48,369 [coughs] 215 00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:49,636 Ow, ow! 216 00:07:51,992 --> 00:07:55,975 [Kameron Marlowe's "Tequila Talkin'" 217 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,412 - ? But I had to come over and ask your name ? 218 00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:00,447 - Ugh. Oh, boy. 219 00:08:00,513 --> 00:08:02,082 Yeah, yeah. 220 00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:05,819 - Uh, hmm. 221 00:08:05,885 --> 00:08:08,155 That bartender's like, uh, miss? 222 00:08:08,156 --> 00:08:10,022 The stubby-fingered gentleman over there 223 00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,225 wants to talk to you. 224 00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:13,393 [chuckles] 225 00:08:13,394 --> 00:08:14,827 He's also the only other gentleman 226 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,029 in this entire resort. 227 00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:17,464 [chuckles] 228 00:08:17,465 --> 00:08:19,065 - It's actually not safe to be here, ma'am. 229 00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:20,400 [chuckles] 230 00:08:20,401 --> 00:08:21,968 There have been several incidents of creepy guys 231 00:08:21,969 --> 00:08:23,470 buying girls shots of tequila 232 00:08:23,471 --> 00:08:24,804 and then taking them out on a boat, 233 00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:26,039 so be very careful. 234 00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:27,441 [chuckles] 235 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,843 - ? That ain't the tequila talkin' ? 236 00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:33,046 - [chuckles] It's not the tequila talking. 237 00:08:33,079 --> 00:08:34,414 But pretty soon, 238 00:08:34,515 --> 00:08:36,650 it's gonna be the police talking. 239 00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:38,686 [chuckles] 240 00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:41,021 - ? Ain't the tequila talking ? 241 00:08:41,022 --> 00:08:43,556 - [chuckles] You know, they make a pretty cute couple, 242 00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:45,959 you know, except for him. 243 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:47,727 - She's like, uh, hey, I'm in my bikini. 244 00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:49,328 Why don't you take your shirt off? 245 00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:52,198 And he's like, uh, I'm good. [chuckles] 246 00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:54,868 - Yeah, I'm good. Maybe- how about some more tequila? 247 00:08:54,869 --> 00:08:56,169 [chuckles] 248 00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,771 - She's like, uh, 249 00:08:57,838 --> 00:09:00,507 how much longer does this video shoot go? 250 00:09:00,574 --> 00:09:03,143 [both chuckling] 251 00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:05,546 - Yeah, 'cause, I mean, I'm acting my ass off. 252 00:09:05,613 --> 00:09:06,947 Come on. [chuckles] 253 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:08,381 - I'm playing the woman 254 00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:10,249 who would ever touch you in a million years. 255 00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:12,953 [chuckles] - And it ain't easy. 256 00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:15,522 - ? Ain't the tequila talking ? 257 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,893 - Damn it, Beavis. 258 00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:21,862 We're all out of massay 'cause you used it all. 259 00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:23,731 - Oh, yeah, yeah. 260 00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:25,699 Sorry about that. [chuckles] 261 00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:28,902 - We gotta, like, find some more. [chuckles] 262 00:09:29,936 --> 00:09:33,207 Hey, we need some French cologne. 263 00:09:33,274 --> 00:09:34,324 [chuckles] 264 00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:36,543 - Yeah, um, do you have Massoi? 265 00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:37,811 [chuckles] 266 00:09:37,812 --> 00:09:39,078 - Would you like to sample this one? 267 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,514 It's very nice. 268 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,116 - Uh, OK. 269 00:09:42,183 --> 00:09:43,233 [chuckles] 270 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:50,957 Uh, this cologne doesn't work. 271 00:09:51,057 --> 00:09:52,893 It doesn't hurt at all. 272 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,496 - That's right, yeah. It does not hurt, yeah. 273 00:09:55,497 --> 00:09:56,629 [chuckles] 274 00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:58,465 - Damn it. This sucks. 275 00:09:58,565 --> 00:10:01,702 Nice try ripping us off, butthole. 276 00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:02,903 [chuckles] 277 00:10:02,969 --> 00:10:04,905 - [sniffs] I don't know, Butt-Head. 278 00:10:04,972 --> 00:10:07,641 I mean, it smells kind of good, you know? 279 00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:10,176 Like a tree or something. [chuckles] 280 00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:11,545 - Damn it, Beavis. 281 00:10:11,546 --> 00:10:13,112 Chicks don't want a guy who smells like a tree. 282 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,449 Chicks want a smell that says, 283 00:10:15,516 --> 00:10:18,285 "I'm willing to pay the price to score." 284 00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:20,253 - Oh, yeah, yeah, right. 285 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:21,889 Yeah, the smell of pain. 286 00:10:21,956 --> 00:10:23,424 Yeah. [chuckles] 287 00:10:23,425 --> 00:10:25,491 - There must be a way that we can get more massay 288 00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:27,961 out of this stupid can. 289 00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:29,196 Uh, let's see. 290 00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:31,632 Uh, goo-fur- 291 00:10:31,633 --> 00:10:32,698 words. 292 00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:35,302 Uh, he-ah-hea-heat. 293 00:10:35,303 --> 00:10:36,435 [chuckles] 294 00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:38,105 I think they want us to, like, 295 00:10:38,172 --> 00:10:39,373 heat it up or something. 296 00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:41,275 - Yeah, yeah. Fire, yeah. 297 00:10:41,375 --> 00:10:43,877 Fire, yeah. [chuckles] 298 00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:47,948 [keypad beeps] 299 00:10:47,949 --> 00:10:50,450 [electrical zapping] - Well, that ought to do it. 300 00:10:50,451 --> 00:10:51,718 [chuckles] 301 00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:53,220 [electrical zapping] 302 00:10:53,287 --> 00:10:56,856 - Yeah, this was a really smart idea, Butt-Head. 303 00:10:58,425 --> 00:11:00,260 [fire alarm beeping] - Whoa, cool. 304 00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:03,296 - Yeah, yeah. Fire! [chuckles] 305 00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:05,766 There it is, yeah. 306 00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:07,434 - On the floor! 307 00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:10,770 - Uh, can you buttholes shut up? 308 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,839 We're trying to put on some cologne. 309 00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:15,108 [both scream] 310 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,225 Whoa. 311 00:11:16,226 --> 00:11:18,011 They're spraying us with massay! 312 00:11:18,012 --> 00:11:19,913 - Make sure you get some in my eyes. 313 00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:21,081 Ah! 314 00:11:21,147 --> 00:11:24,051 [rock music] 315 00:11:24,151 --> 00:11:25,886 ? ? 316 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,292 [both chuckling] 317 00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:34,261 [rock music] 318 00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:41,368 ? ? 319 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:48,642 - Well, back to the daily grind. 320 00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:50,310 [chuckles] - Yep. 321 00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:52,179 Cash the unemployment check, 322 00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:55,849 buy a beer, drink it, fall asleep on the couch. 323 00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:57,918 Still can't seem to get ahead. 324 00:11:58,019 --> 00:12:00,454 - Yep. [chuckles] 325 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,089 [tires skidding] 326 00:12:02,156 --> 00:12:04,557 Whoa. Check it out, Beavis. 327 00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:06,159 It's a free couch. 328 00:12:06,260 --> 00:12:07,310 - Whoa, that's cool. 329 00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:08,562 [both chuckling] 330 00:12:08,629 --> 00:12:09,679 Lucky day. 331 00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:11,598 - Whoa. 332 00:12:11,665 --> 00:12:14,201 This is so much cooler than our couch. 333 00:12:14,202 --> 00:12:16,202 - Yeah, it looks like nobody's ever fallen asleep 334 00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:17,236 and peed on it. 335 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,305 Not even once! 336 00:12:18,406 --> 00:12:20,741 - If we had this couch in our apartment, 337 00:12:20,774 --> 00:12:24,478 we could finally start inviting chicks over and stuff. 338 00:12:24,479 --> 00:12:26,279 - And then they'll want to sit on our couch. 339 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:27,381 Yeah. [chuckles] 340 00:12:27,448 --> 00:12:28,915 - Yeah. [chuckles] 341 00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:31,385 And then sit on me. 342 00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:33,287 [both chuckling] 343 00:12:33,288 --> 00:12:34,354 - Yeah, cool. 344 00:12:34,355 --> 00:12:35,822 I'll take this end. 345 00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:37,625 - OK. [chuckles] 346 00:12:37,658 --> 00:12:39,693 - And you take that end. 347 00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,761 - Uh, no. 348 00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:43,063 [chuckles] 349 00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:45,565 - Oh. [chuckles] Really? 350 00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:47,100 That sucks. 351 00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:49,135 [straining] 352 00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:53,974 - Hurry up already, dumbass. 353 00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:55,475 - Oh, God. 354 00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:57,578 - Welcome to my micro cabin. 355 00:12:57,644 --> 00:13:01,115 - [chuckles] Welcome to my micro cabin. 356 00:13:01,182 --> 00:13:02,316 [chuckles] 357 00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:05,686 It's where I keep my micro penis. 358 00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:07,688 - Wait a minute. That's his house? 359 00:13:07,721 --> 00:13:10,390 Oh, boy. [chuckles] 360 00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:13,927 - He's like, I wanna feel like I'm living in my car, 361 00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:16,430 but not be able to actually go anywhere. 362 00:13:16,497 --> 00:13:18,465 [both chuckling] 363 00:13:18,532 --> 00:13:23,471 - This mailbox is actually a kids' lunchbox from the 1960s. 364 00:13:23,504 --> 00:13:26,473 I was out cruising around looking for a mailbox. 365 00:13:26,474 --> 00:13:29,008 - I was out cruising around, looking for a mailbox for it. 366 00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:30,543 And I saw a little kid going to school, 367 00:13:30,544 --> 00:13:34,581 and I said, uh, that lunchbox is mine now. 368 00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:36,283 Run along. [chuckles] 369 00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:38,285 You can find another lunchbox. 370 00:13:38,352 --> 00:13:40,620 I need this for the shipping crate I live in. 371 00:13:40,687 --> 00:13:41,822 [chuckles] 372 00:13:41,889 --> 00:13:43,724 - It'll double the size of my home. 373 00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:47,728 [chuckling] Yeah, in all seriousness, though, Butt-Head, 374 00:13:47,828 --> 00:13:49,638 I don't think he's ever gonna score. 375 00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:51,698 Yeah. [chuckles] 376 00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:53,400 - Nope. [chuckles] 377 00:13:53,467 --> 00:13:56,102 - Because of the added room because of the pop top. 378 00:13:56,103 --> 00:13:57,770 - When he meets girls, he's like, 379 00:13:57,771 --> 00:13:59,440 come on back to my house, baby. 380 00:13:59,507 --> 00:14:03,110 You can stand all the way up. [chuckles] 381 00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:04,812 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. [chuckles] 382 00:14:04,878 --> 00:14:08,515 Chicks are probably like, uh, glasses-on-hat guy, 383 00:14:08,582 --> 00:14:11,552 I wanna score with you back at your house. 384 00:14:11,585 --> 00:14:14,422 And he's like, hmm, well, 385 00:14:14,455 --> 00:14:16,723 I'm gonna have to measure you first. 386 00:14:16,790 --> 00:14:18,625 [both chuckling] 387 00:14:18,626 --> 00:14:20,426 - You can bang your head on the ceiling, 388 00:14:20,427 --> 00:14:22,129 and then you can bang me. 389 00:14:22,196 --> 00:14:24,598 [chuckles] 390 00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:25,932 - Yeah, but hurry up, 391 00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:27,533 because we only have 15 minutes of air. 392 00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:30,204 [chuckles] 393 00:14:30,205 --> 00:14:31,671 There's probably not enough room for you, 394 00:14:31,672 --> 00:14:33,740 me, and my boner, so one of us 395 00:14:33,741 --> 00:14:35,241 is going to have to wait outside. 396 00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:36,610 [chuckles] 397 00:14:36,711 --> 00:14:38,378 And I'm thinking me. 398 00:14:38,412 --> 00:14:39,580 [chuckles] 399 00:14:39,613 --> 00:14:41,781 - I have my kitchen area. 400 00:14:41,782 --> 00:14:43,216 - Yeah, maybe I can set the mood 401 00:14:43,217 --> 00:14:45,319 by heating up some canned food for you. 402 00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,087 Yeah. [chuckles] 403 00:14:47,121 --> 00:14:50,557 Maybe a little Chef Boyardee. 404 00:14:50,624 --> 00:14:55,296 I put the D in Chef Boyardee. [chuckles] 405 00:14:55,362 --> 00:14:57,464 And magnets, oh, I got 'em, yeah. 406 00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:58,933 [chuckles] 407 00:14:58,934 --> 00:15:00,299 [couch scraping on ground] 408 00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:03,370 - [straining] 409 00:15:04,772 --> 00:15:06,406 [groans] 410 00:15:06,473 --> 00:15:09,109 - Hey, baby. Check out what we're doing. 411 00:15:09,143 --> 00:15:10,311 [chuckles] 412 00:15:10,411 --> 00:15:11,578 - Are you moving? 413 00:15:11,645 --> 00:15:13,875 - Yeah, no one peed on this couch. [chuckles] 414 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,140 - You're finally leaving. 415 00:15:15,181 --> 00:15:17,051 Tonight, I am bringing friends over 416 00:15:17,118 --> 00:15:19,219 and we are having a party to celebrate. 417 00:15:19,286 --> 00:15:21,021 This is fantastic. 418 00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:23,623 - Whoa. Did you hear that? 419 00:15:23,624 --> 00:15:25,491 She's gonna come back with a bunch of chicks 420 00:15:25,492 --> 00:15:27,160 and party with us. 421 00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:29,796 This couch is working even better than I thought. 422 00:15:29,830 --> 00:15:31,031 [chuckles] 423 00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:33,600 - Yeah, we better get it up the stairs fast. 424 00:15:33,667 --> 00:15:36,002 - And then we'll get it up. [chuckles] 425 00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:37,492 - That's right. [chuckles] 426 00:15:37,571 --> 00:15:40,174 Nothing to it but to do it. [chuckles] 427 00:15:40,241 --> 00:15:42,175 [Butt-Head humming] 428 00:15:42,242 --> 00:15:44,277 [Beavis straining] 429 00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:46,947 - Come on, Beavis. 430 00:15:46,948 --> 00:15:48,114 You're making me do all the work. 431 00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:49,750 [Beavis groans] 432 00:15:49,817 --> 00:15:52,920 - Um, Butt-Head, Butt-Head. 433 00:15:52,987 --> 00:15:55,355 - Yeah? Uh, what? 434 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,157 - Oh, this is really heavy. 435 00:15:57,224 --> 00:16:00,660 Like, can we take a rest for a second? 436 00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:02,530 - Uh, sure. 437 00:16:02,531 --> 00:16:04,731 I've been resting for, like, five minutes. 438 00:16:04,732 --> 00:16:05,731 [chuckles] 439 00:16:05,732 --> 00:16:07,601 Feels good to take a load off. 440 00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:08,902 - Ah! No! 441 00:16:10,704 --> 00:16:13,139 [Beavis screaming] 442 00:16:17,345 --> 00:16:19,012 - Nice job, dumbass. 443 00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:23,417 You dropped it. - [groaning] 444 00:16:23,484 --> 00:16:25,252 OK, OK. Here's my idea. 445 00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:28,655 We pull the couch up with this string. 446 00:16:28,722 --> 00:16:31,558 - Whoa. That's a good idea, asswipe. 447 00:16:31,625 --> 00:16:33,760 - Yeah, make sure you tie it really tight. 448 00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:35,147 Like with a knot, you know? 449 00:16:35,195 --> 00:16:36,897 - Shut up, Beavis. 450 00:16:36,930 --> 00:16:38,231 I know what I'm doing. 451 00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:41,301 [chuckles] Just take this here. 452 00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:43,637 Rabbit goes around the tree. 453 00:16:43,704 --> 00:16:45,872 Just tighten this. 454 00:16:45,939 --> 00:16:47,875 - OK, is the string tied to the couch? 455 00:16:47,908 --> 00:16:51,311 - Beavis, you dumbass, your dumb string doesn't work. 456 00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:54,014 It tied me up or something. 457 00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:55,349 - I think if you unwrap it 458 00:16:55,350 --> 00:16:57,883 from around your butt or something, and then, like- 459 00:16:57,884 --> 00:17:01,955 - Beavis, get down here and untie your dumb string. 460 00:17:02,055 --> 00:17:03,223 - OK. 461 00:17:03,290 --> 00:17:05,392 [head clanking] Um, give me a second. 462 00:17:05,459 --> 00:17:07,728 I think my head's caught in the railing. 463 00:17:07,795 --> 00:17:09,096 I can't get it out. 464 00:17:09,163 --> 00:17:10,497 - I don't care. 465 00:17:10,564 --> 00:17:11,732 - Nah, don't worry. 466 00:17:11,733 --> 00:17:13,299 This happened all the time when I was a kid. 467 00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:14,680 You just have to come up here 468 00:17:14,735 --> 00:17:16,469 and put peanut butter on my ears. 469 00:17:16,470 --> 00:17:18,771 - Damn it. I'm gonna come up there and kick your ass. 470 00:17:18,772 --> 00:17:19,772 [Butt-Head groans] 471 00:17:19,773 --> 00:17:21,942 - Ah! Butt-Head, help! Ah! 472 00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:23,110 Ah! - Oh, no. 473 00:17:23,176 --> 00:17:24,544 Uh- - Ah! 474 00:17:24,611 --> 00:17:26,379 Butt-Head! Ah, no! 475 00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:28,196 - Damn it, Beavis. Look what you did. 476 00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:30,283 - [screaming] 477 00:17:30,536 --> 00:17:32,585 - Oh. 478 00:17:32,586 --> 00:17:35,022 - [pants] 479 00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:36,457 That's better. 480 00:17:36,557 --> 00:17:38,658 Are my ears still on? 481 00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:41,228 - Beavis, I'm gonna kill you. 482 00:17:41,295 --> 00:17:42,345 [chuckles] 483 00:17:46,767 --> 00:17:49,970 - [sighs] We can't get the couch up the steps, Butt-Head. 484 00:17:50,071 --> 00:17:52,773 - Uh, yeah, I know. 485 00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:54,742 - Well, I guess some guys 486 00:17:54,808 --> 00:17:56,978 just aren't meant to have a cool couch and- 487 00:17:56,979 --> 00:17:58,644 and to have chicks come sit on it 488 00:17:58,645 --> 00:18:02,316 and maybe sit on their schlongs. 489 00:18:02,382 --> 00:18:04,151 - No, Beavis. 490 00:18:04,185 --> 00:18:06,520 Shut up. [chuckles] 491 00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:08,663 This is our one chance to score with Donna 492 00:18:08,689 --> 00:18:09,990 and her dumb friends. 493 00:18:10,056 --> 00:18:11,391 [slow inspiring music] 494 00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:13,026 And that's only the beginning. 495 00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:14,828 After we score with them, 496 00:18:14,895 --> 00:18:17,365 we're gonna move up to chicks who are even hotter 497 00:18:17,431 --> 00:18:20,367 because chicks will, like, know we do it. 498 00:18:20,434 --> 00:18:21,969 [chuckles] 499 00:18:22,036 --> 00:18:26,039 Beavis, we are going to get that couch in our apartment. 500 00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:27,240 [chuckles] 501 00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:29,709 - Yeah! Yeah, Butt-Head! Yeah, let's do it! 502 00:18:29,810 --> 00:18:31,011 Yeah! [chuckles] 503 00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:32,880 - That's right, Beavis. 504 00:18:32,947 --> 00:18:34,948 Let's do this. - Yeah! 505 00:18:35,015 --> 00:18:37,150 [both grunting] 506 00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:39,152 - Yeah. [grunting] 507 00:18:39,186 --> 00:18:41,122 [triumphant music] 508 00:18:41,188 --> 00:18:43,256 - We did it. OK, wait. 509 00:18:43,257 --> 00:18:44,890 Now, just gonna unlock the door. 510 00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:45,993 [Beavis screams] 511 00:18:46,059 --> 00:18:47,109 - We can do it, Beavis. 512 00:18:47,161 --> 00:18:48,762 - Yeah, let's go. 513 00:18:48,829 --> 00:18:50,731 [both grunting] 514 00:18:50,831 --> 00:18:53,200 ? ? 515 00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:54,601 - Easy does it. 516 00:18:54,668 --> 00:18:56,670 - Almost there. 517 00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:58,372 [both chuckling] 518 00:18:58,438 --> 00:19:00,907 We did it! Yeah, we finally did it. 519 00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:02,609 [both sigh] 520 00:19:02,710 --> 00:19:04,911 Oh, boy. [chuckles] 521 00:19:08,048 --> 00:19:09,182 Um. 522 00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:11,352 Um, Butt-Head, um, 523 00:19:11,419 --> 00:19:13,587 I think we're in the wrong apartment. 524 00:19:13,654 --> 00:19:14,704 [chuckles] 525 00:19:14,722 --> 00:19:18,058 - Uh-oh, yeah. 526 00:19:18,092 --> 00:19:20,427 [triumphant music] 527 00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:22,529 [both grunting] 528 00:19:22,596 --> 00:19:25,132 [objects clattering loudly] 529 00:19:25,232 --> 00:19:32,072 ? ? 530 00:19:32,073 --> 00:19:33,172 [both grunt] 531 00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:34,223 [wood creaking] 532 00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:40,247 - We did it, Butt-Head. 533 00:19:40,248 --> 00:19:41,748 Now, we're finally gonna score. 534 00:19:41,749 --> 00:19:43,316 Yeah. [chuckles] 535 00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:44,551 - Yep. 536 00:19:44,552 --> 00:19:46,486 All we gotta do is wait for the chicks. 537 00:19:46,487 --> 00:19:47,788 [chuckles] 538 00:19:47,855 --> 00:19:50,924 - I am so happy those two losers moved out. 539 00:19:50,957 --> 00:19:53,094 You can't believe what a relief it is that 540 00:19:53,127 --> 00:19:55,195 they're finally-[gasps] 541 00:19:55,262 --> 00:19:56,596 Goddamn it! 542 00:19:56,630 --> 00:19:58,431 What did they do to my apartment? 543 00:19:58,498 --> 00:20:00,300 Oh, damn it! 544 00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:03,003 - Uh, we're not gonna score. 545 00:20:03,070 --> 00:20:04,205 [chuckles] 546 00:20:04,271 --> 00:20:06,140 - Yep. [both chuckling] 547 00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:07,508 [rock music] 548 00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:09,676 - These guys are unbelievable! 549 00:20:09,743 --> 00:20:11,778 [indistinct shouting] 550 00:20:15,916 --> 00:20:18,852 [rock music] 551 00:20:18,952 --> 00:20:25,959 ? ? 552 00:20:37,905 --> 00:20:39,807 [chiming noises] 553 00:20:39,907 --> 00:20:40,957 - Chirp. 554 00:20:40,991 --> 00:20:45,541 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0